Get It Together

9 days shy of 1 year ago, I closed a chapter of my life.... College. I've done a lot of reflecting on my journey through college and I've been lost in the middle of figuring out life as an adult for the last year. It's amazing how fast time goes by. The past year has been a roller coaster of ups and downs. Sometimes it's hard to believe I even made it to this point, it has been different, in every single way, then I ever imagined it to be.

If you would have asked me 5 years ago when I was approaching high school graduation where I would be now, I would have had a much different answer. An answer that probably included a marriage, living in another state, and working on a racing team.

Funny. Real funny, Maddie. 

I'm 22 years old, I thought and imagined I would have everything figured out by now. Afterall, I always watched my older sister, a meer 5 years older, seem so much older and more adult like then I ever have been. If only I could be as mature and get my life together like her...

Moment of truth? I have no idea what I am doing. The past year has taught me more about patience and trust in Gods plan then anything else could have. Moving back home for 10 months? Not knowing if my job would send me clear across the country? Having to try to build a new group of friends? Try to put the pieces of a broken heart back together? What a whirlwind. 

I don't have it together. To be honest, I'm not sure anyone does. I am not sure I really ever will. But you know what? That's ok, life is perfect right where it is. God is in control.

Remember, you are worth it.

-XO M

So Unfashionable

Today, someone, who shall remain nameless, came up to me and told me that my "bracelets are SO 2 years ago". 

Aside from the fact 2 years ago, life was drastically different, he is right. But what he doesn't know is that all 3 of these hold significant meaning. I looked him straight in the face and said "so what?" Quickly he glanced at them again trying to figure out what exactly they all had on them, he didn't hold back and stated "I don't even know what those mean, it makes no sense." I looked him square in the face and said "you're right but you don't need to understand."

Rubber bracelets? So middle school.

 I. Don't. Care. 

Lets start with the red one.... Radical Transformation, I will. This one is from an incredible series at church. An I Will series, a series where I made a commitment to further my relationship with Christ. Have I perfected it? No. Have I stumbled? You better believe it. However, I have made it my priority to live my life to love and serve God. This red bracelet is a constant reminder.

The blue one.... Leading, I am. This one pulls at my heart strings in a very special way. Without going into detail, I have been called into youth ministry and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Being 22 years old and having the opportunity to walk through life with some amazing high school girls and to share my heart with is incredible. This bracelet is a constant reminder to live a life that is leading others in the right direction as well as leading myself.

The grey, "Be A Champion" bracelet. This one has a whole bunch of things wrapped up in it. It has a goal associated to it, it has a purpose attached to it, it has a journey latched on, it has a future building to it. A simple bracelet it is, but with so much meaning. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a very driven person, I'm very independent and "I do what I want" is an over used phrase in my daily vocabulary.  Missions. Volunteering. Donating. Dreams. Family. Worlds #1 Auntie. Home owner. World changer. Bet you didn't know so many words and phrases could be attached to a rubber bracelet huh!? Let me give you a few more: Ruby. College. Hope. Faith. Future. Junior 20. Significant changes. Phone calls.  A reminder of where I was, what I am doing, and where I am going... And HOW I did it, am doing it, and will do it.

 Professional volunteer? Someday. Maddie on missions? Someday. Worlds #1 Auntie? Now. Homeowner? Working on it. 

Tonight I sat on the floor of my sister and brother in laws house after a little house hunting of my own and my sweet 8 month old nephew who had previously just been playing with my necklace started giving me the most heart warming slobbery wet kisses an Auntie could ask for. What does this have to do with the bracelets? That sweet little nephew of mine exists in every single one of those bracelets. Every. Single. Last. One. 

So to my dearest friend with the comment that my bracelets are "so 2 years ago", you are right. But the meaning behind them, the goals attached to them, the purpose for each is far more important and stronger then your snarky comment or being unfashionable. 

You are worth it.

-XO M

Wake Up With Confidence

Life is a constant battle. A battle between what society pushes on you, what your peers push on you, what your parents push on you, and more. A battle between what is right and what is wrong. A battle between what your heart says and what the world thinks. A battle between others opinions of you vs your opinion of yourself.

They aren't on your journey. They don't have to wake up and live your life everyday, you do. So why do you focus on what others think? The answer is simple, you let your worth reside in the people that surround you, you let your worth be defined by someone else. 

Why? Instant gratification. You want to feel loved. You want to belong. You want to feel approved. I get it. I've been there. It's a constant battle. Reality is, your worth doesn't belong to your peers, it doesn't belong to your friends, it doesn't belong to your boyfriend/girlfriend, it doesn't even belong to your parents. Your worth belongs to Jesus, God sent his son to die on the cross for you, God sent his son to die on the cross for me. Falling in love with Jesus has been the best decision of my life. The battles no longer define me. My plans, no matter how big and awesome I think will NEVER measure up to the plans God has for me. Your plans will never measure up to the plans God has for you. 

Trust the path God lays out for you. Walk past the closed doors. Pray relentlessly. Wake up with confidence that you are going amazing places if you let God move your heart. 

I don't know where I'm going. All I know is where I've been. God knows my heart, in every way. God has a plan and path for me. I face today and everyday with a smile on my face knowing I have a faith that can move mountains.

You can too. You are worth it.

XO

-M

8235 Days

Everyone has a journey.... I have my own. 

8235 days I have spent on this Earth. That's 22 years, 6 months, and 17 days to be exact. Reality is, that's not very long. I have so much life ahead of me, so many new experiences, so many new chapters waiting to be written. But the last 22 years have been far from a waste, minus the years I can't really recall. 

Sometimes I find comfort in knowing I don't have to repeat the things I have already been through. Sometimes I am so thankful I don't even have to look back that way. I often reflect on the things that have happened to form the person I am today, I am thankful for the amazing,  the good, the bad, and even the ugly: I wouldn't be the person I am now. But the good news, you don't have to look back. I don't focus on my past, I focus on my NOW! 

I may not live my day to day life as your typical 22 year old, actually I am quite opposite. I enjoy my 9pm bedtime, I set my alarm for 5am, I spend time dreaming, I have few friends, I have best friends, I set big goals, and I am thankful for the life God has blessed me with. Not your typical 22 year old life but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Why? Because once I decided to leave everyone else's negativity and opinions about my life behind me, big things began to happen. Quite frankly, everyone is going to have an opinion, what you do with it matters. I have come to love the words "ok, great, thanks for your advice/opinion" (even though i am screaming on the inside). There is only one single voice in your life that you should listen to, the voice that answers your prayers, the one who sent his son to die on the cross for YOU. 

People can be harsh, people can be downright rude, people don't have filters; sometimes people do it it of love, sometimes people do it out of jealousy, sometimes people do it just to make themselves feel better. You have to do you. You have to follow where God has called you to be. Leave the haters behind you and bring your supporters with you. It's your journey. This is mine.

Have a sparkling Monday! You are worth it!

-XO M

Your Story

There were a few very crucial conversations that took place last night. One of which got me thinking quite a bit about my story, my journey, my life experiences: how did I get where I am today.

First, it's important to understand the word testimony. 

Okay, so the dictionary definition of testimony doesn't really explain anything. What is a testimony? It's your journey, it's your story, it's your path. 

Looking back on my short 22 years of life, I have a lot of events that fold into my testimony. There are a lot of defining moments that got me to where I am today, some were great and some were less then pleasant. But it's me. It's my story. It's my relationship with God. Reality is, my story isn't over, it's just beginning.

The next thing is to realize that everyone has a story. Everyone has a journey. And everyone has a testimony. It may be drastically different then yours, but it's theirs. Have an open heart. Have compassion. 

Back to your story: what makes you who you are? Is there one defining moment that you can look back and say "that changed the path of my life drastically", are there a lot of smaller moments that you can look back and say "everything tied together made me who I am today"? Begin to think about those times in life that seem to be written in stone in your memory, the things that no matter how many experiences you have, you will always carry those with you, the things that spark emotion, hurt, or happiness. Are they things people know about you? Are they things that you have buried deep down inside and are afraid to let resurface? 

I have somewhat of a hate for the statement to "not let circumstances or past define you". Lets be raw and real here, your life experiences, the things that happen to you mold who you are. What I do agree with is the statement that "it's what you do with the experiences". That is HUGE. People are right, your past shouldn't define you? Wait what? It's part of your past, of course it is part of you!! Whether you like it or not it is and always will be part of you, but it's what you did with the event/experience that starts to mold your life. When you let God have control over your life, these moments will begin to shift and change, you will view your path a little differently then before, the moments you face from that point forward will be different. 

Pray. Pray relentlessly. Have a childlike faith. Know God has a plan bigger for you then you could ever dream up yourself.

Have a sparkling day! 

XO- M

One-Way Ticket

Chances are, you have a whole bunch of people in your life. Some you want there and some you probably prefer get a one way ticket elsewhere. I get it. The fact of the matter is, you get to decide who is going to link arms with you to journey through life. But who are you going to choose?

Sometimes, okay, most times, I have a very trusting heart. I want to think the best of every person I come into contact with. Rookie mistakes. You can't let everyone had a handle on your life and your surely can't let everyone speak into your life. If there is one thing I have learned, I learned that people will go a mile to put you down to build themselves up. The important thing to learn is how to put those people in a position to no longer speak into your life. It is crucial to have a community of people around you to journey with you, make sure to choose them cautiously. 

The past few months, I have started to realize how important it is to take time for yourself: take time to read your bible, take time to pray, take time to journal. Be present in your life. The times you spend in solitude will strengthen your relationships with others. After all, if you don't know who you are, how can you determine who should be speaking into your life? If you don't spend time in solitude, how can God reveal things to you?

Do yourself a favor, make it a habit to spend time with yourself. Do yourself a favor, find a community to walk through life with. Cut the negatives, cut the people who try to put you down, cut the people who can't just journey through your life with you. Be with people who can speak truth with you, be with people that want the best for you, be with people who support you in your journey. 

You are worth it.

XO- M

Defining Worth

   

You have to decide you are worth fighting for. You have to decide that your future, your dreams, your family, your hopes, your kids, your heart are worth fighting for. After you decide you are worth fighting for, you have to have the attitude that you are going to do it, not an attitude that it would "be nice" for your dreams to come true. 

When you decide something has to change, you must adopt a "can do without exception" attitude ALL the time. We are capable of achieving more then most of us ever do. Why? We allow ourselves to believe that our current situations define our worth, it defines who we are and where we are going. 

Was engineering school hard? It was tougher then I could ever put words to. Those 4 years were ones I could have never prepared for, they were years that I poured my sweat and tears into everything I did, they were years that I pushed myself further then I ever thought I could go, they were years my attitude towards life changed multiple times a day. More days then not, I wanted to quit. I wanted to throw in the towel and say "enough is enough". I was done being stretched passed my limit. I didn't quit. 

My Dad always taught us growing up that anything in life worth having wouldn't be easy and if it were easy, everyone would do it. Walking across th stage on graduation was such a defining moment, I finally had accomplished what I was starting to think was impossible. I couldn't help but think of all the people who told me I couldn't, I wanted to yell "I told you so!" Now, almost every single person who ever told me I couldn't do it, that I should just quit, or that it wasn't worth my time has zero idea that I graduated, who cares though. What IS important is that I didn't allow their view of me define who I was or who I am or who I a becoming. 

Who are you letting define your worth? Who are you letting define your future?

Take charge of your life, God created you with a purpose and journey bigger then you can imagine, don't discredit it, don't give it up. Full steam ahead. You are worth it.